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Mig Newton

A Diagram of the Mig Newton, as published by Steve Of Hovenbeet.

The mig newton is a strange species of cookie/dessert which was (and possibly still is) made by wrapping a soft dough around some "Mig paste". Mig paste is precured by mixing some sugar with some dried Mig juice (Mig concentrate), which is created by squishing a Mig fruit and extracting the enzyme.


In almost all respects it is like the commonly known "Fig newton", though it has luminous purple juice. In taste, it also tastes like a Fig Newton except it is sweeter and tastes infinitely better, not to mention it disobeys the laws of gravity. You see, because Newton first accurately explained the principal of gravity, and because it is preceeded by "Mig", it therefore exists in contrast to Newton. As a result, the Mig Newton is occasionally found floating around the cosmos, or coasting around various planets which it was made on. It is also the only thing which can pass through a black hole undisturbed.


Another interesting fact about the Mig Newton is that it only can be tasted by Beethovenists or Athiests. To all who stand outside those religeons (or lack thereof), it is bland and disgusting, and is not quite so funny-looking.


Some studies suggest that the mig newton is possibly the only sentient cookie, because it has been observed to have some unusual behavior. Examples of this include a strange painting turning up in Czechoslovakia depicting Albert Einstein playing a game (and losing) to a Mig newton, and a Mig newton seen in a cave carving in the modern-day town of Nowhere In Particular, England.

Newtons

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